Friday, January 30, 2009
hmm... well dat problem wif dat person is now OVER!
i just dun wan to drag dis thing on...
wad's in de past let it be in the past...
i oso see no point in arguing abt dis matter...
well, all i can do now is just pretend dat i never knew dis person...
so that i won't hate him/her to the core...
dun wan to make enemies...
but if dat person, still being stubborn...
i dun even care... im not at the losing ends here!
just a reminder: stop being Fickle-Minded...
TURNIG POINT FOR A BRIGHT FUTURE!
hmm... just got my poly results...
well, im posted to Nanyang Polytechnic...
Sports&Wellness Management.... under the Business Management School...
at the first thought, i did consider to appeal to Ngee Ann Poly.
but then, after reading the modules...
im so into Sports&Wellness...
imagine 1st&2nd yr, i get to indulge myself with Business related modules...
only in 3rd yr, i had a glimpse of Sports module... hehe...
cool right... haha...
so people out there,
im officially a student of Nanyang Poly: Sports&Wellness Management!
hehe. so people, pray for my success in my upcoming diploma:))
love my peeps... hope they oso succeed in their life:))
high about her new paths:JUU
12:02 PM
Friday, January 23, 2009
todae it's my off day:)) hehe...
my gf,azie was supposed to go to work.
but she's sick, so took an off day.
it's so lucky of her, to get a 2-day mc. i totally envy her:(
yesterday, i discovered a bruise on my left arm,
i thought that it was because i got knock myself on the metal shelf.
but, it was due to something superstition* got bitten by pelesit*
i knock off from work usually around 10.30pm.
which meant, i g'na be home latest by 12pm. haizz.. poor me :((
yesterday, at werk...
there is 2 malay staff, being transfered to our place to help out.
Hidayah & Ismail. having both of them, we had so much fun.
Hidayah is always sighing about the tiredness & glad being posted at CWP.
Ismail is always braging about his work. like, how he can meet his sales target.
got to know that Ismail is a year younger (adk2 ye)...
he's also waiting for his school result.
he apply for Business Management at Nanyang Poly :))
well, kinda felt bored as Amirah,another staff at CWP...
didn't come, she had her off day ;))
seriously, to be true... i feel like quitting this job.
but the pay, does worth a lot. haizz... how sia??
i do really in need of cash... wad to do?
had to endure the pain for the sake of the money :0
therefore, to my frens...
sowie if i can't spend time with you peopple. anyting text me:))
i will try my very best to spend my time with you people:))
need my rest:JUU
4:00 PM
hmm...
shocked by some issues!
well it was supposed to be an issue that happened in the past(2008),
but that someone just can't get rid of the past.
That someone, keep bring up the past matter.
pls lor, you said it yourself that you are letting the matter rest, but eventually...
you did rake it up.
what's the point of you to say that you are letting the matter off,
when you are actually bring it up.
you said that, i had let out a 'beautiful vocab' to you first, which lead to your anger.
pls lor, you are the one who said it first "[wtf]", but your reason is that,
your [wtf] is just a normal word in your dictionary.
well, that same goes to me... when i reply [kimak]...
if you are close to me, you will know that [kimak] is just a normal word in my dictionary.
its not that i use a bad word of [pukimak kau] to you wad.
pls lar, get your facts right. having my gf to side me,
its the same when you are siding your bf wad. so its even!
when my gf asked you to meet up to clarify this matter, you said OK!
but when the time comes, you back off. what the hell??
typical cyber bully!
being brave only on net, but a true coward in a real life!
suck it in your head ar!
no point of you to act tough on net, searching for people to bully,
while in real life, you are a coward like a mice!
seriously, i'm so dissapointed in you!
such a JERK!
such an ASSHOLE!
a true asshole!
not happy wif me, meet me up ar!
FYI: YOUR HOME DISTANCE ISN'T THAT FAR ANYWAY!
S'PORE IS JUST A RED DOT IN THE WORLD MAP!!!
if you are so worried about the distance, we can come down to your place!
we're giving in to your request!
just want to get OVER&DONE with this PAST(2008)
pissed off with a true jerk:JUU
3:23 PM
Friday, January 16, 2009
maybe we're friends
maybe we're more
maybe it's just my imagination
hmm...
im kinda confused now.
i was contacting with (A), i thought it was just a fren-fren thing.
but then it turn out to be the otherwise.
(A) knows that i was out of love ,at that point of time.
i told (A) my problem, thinking that (A) was just trying to be kind, and listen.
(A) did listen, and i'm happy with that.
but then, (A) confessed to me.
it just made me confused.
i was just out of love, and here (A) is confessing to me!
which is to me, a too much conincidence.
told my GF, she said...
(A) is making use of my out-of-love-situation.
how can you expect me to fall in the next second, when i was just out of love.
it's totally impossible.
hate this feeling.
(A) is a nice person, but its just impossible.
i do agree that im still thinking of (s.b)...
its just that the memory of (s.b) still exists in my mind.
(s.b) had left me a very deep scar, which it became permanent in my mind.
i can't possibly love (A).
the worst thing is that, (A) is already attached.
7 month relationship.
hmm. well, that gave me a tight knock out.
i dun want to lead (A) on, so i had to back off.
pretend that i never knew (A).
i do not want the history to repeat.
we were just friends, but you are already cage-ing me up...
i need my space... im breatheless...
i'm not your toy, for you to control me.
i have my own life to life, and you have yours...
i know, i used to let myself spend my spare time with (s.b)
but its a total different thing.
having (A) around me, making me breatheless, uptight... i need space.
having (s.b) around me , making me just fine... although lots of quarrel.
if this were to continue,
i'm back to my square one just like when i'm with (s.b)...
it gonna be the same...
i do not want this to happen.
so, im learning from it.
to refrain from this to happen.
(A) may think that i'm being unfair to him,
but its for the best in future.
(A) may not understand it now, but eventually he will.
when its over with (s.b), i learnt alot.
i had also promise myself...
- not to fall easily
- the next guy, will be able to prove to me that he is different from the others.
- the next guy, will make my relationship with him public.
- a real relationship, not a forbidden one. *no ttm*
well, from what i see...
(A) is just not the next guy.
things for sure, i will make more friends...
to let me see the broad differences of different personality.
seriously, to (A)
just focus on your current relationship...
no point trying to start, something that is totally uncertain...
focus your attention to the things that you had already gotten!
between us is just totally impossible...
public cannot accept us...
you will understand ' public cannot accept us' one day
if you want to say that i have not gotten over (s.b),
i'm not sure myself...
all i know is that, (s.b) taught me stuff.
i learnt to think twice,
learn to be frozenheart.
just do not want history to repeat.
do not want to get myself entangle in the no-future-relationship.
hmm, all i ask from you(A), to just...
love her... forget about me... its no future!
i will not commit myself.
breatheless:JUU
4:11 PM
hmm. currently im at zhenghuacc. hehe.
todae i got my off day, but too bad my GF:Azie had to go to work haha.
but then, she not werkin on sundae. haizz. im werkin on sat&sun. haizz.
well, wad to do? im werkin from 11am-10pm at Charles&Keith.
hehe. the specific outlet, well cant tell. haha.
seriously, for the past few days, there is so much things dat happens.
- last week, went out wif Azie,Joe,Jaivin,Hakim&Martin to several polys in town.
hehe. went ard to check out the diff. courses that it offer. & which to consider.
well, all i know is dat im getting myself into NgeeAnn, International Business course.
hehe. minah business!
- made new fren,____. He is my kuzz's bestie. hmm, contact wif him. it was fun contactin wif him.
haha. Bt then, the sparks jus went off. haizz. dunnoe la ehh.
well, i guess i dun wan to commit myself into a r/shp. "Once bitten,Twice shy".
The painful experience had taught me alot.
well, im learning from it & to be sure, im not getting myself involve in the near future.
just hate the feeling of it.
if i were to lead diz on, it will be no diff. frm my past.
i will be back to square 1, which is where i dun wan it to be.
well...to ____, a piece of advice...
jus concentrate on the things dat u are currently having,
than to be hoping to start sumthing that is totally uncertain.
b'coz it just won't happen.
better to stop it, than to actually start things
that wasn't suppose to haf started in the very first place.
- dun noe wad came upon me...
why does evrywhre i go, dere is a thot of ____.
went wif Azie to her fren solo debut, Iskandar, he sang ______, which is our song.
went to play pool wif my sis, heard songs that ___ used to like.
went to JurongPoint, saw the exact teddy bear that i wanted him to buy.
haizz. well, wad to do? jus pretend it was jus a dream.
i do agree dat, i do tink of him
- got my O lvl results... haha. i PASS!! yeah!
- got work at Charles&Keith... my whole body is aching...
i guess im down wif fever oso. aww.
well, i love my bitterswit life... hehe. full of ups&downs.
in love wif herself:JUU
3:23 PM
Saturday, January 3, 2009
I can't pretend these tears
Aren't over flowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way
It feels to fly
i'm stuck at home the whole day...
watching all the tv programme
even when they are being 2nd/3rd telecast...
hmm, so bored.
mii dude:Zaman did call...
ask me out to accompany him & dude:Nasri
to Raffles City, but i turn it down...
i cant go out..
promised my mum to stay put at home...
mybe tmr, goin out wif my family...
standard le, go JB...
hehe.
unfortunately, my family had the usual quarrel...
my elder sis& my dad...
sis went out the whole nite...
nvr even call home...
we're absolutely worried abt her...
she juz ignore our phonecall.
i really dun understand her...
she can be a very good gal in a day...
& can become a wild gal the very next day...
hard to predict her life...
haizz, we may be close...
but its hard to talk her in...
she inherit my dad's hot-headed attitude...
so, when 2 'hot-headed' meet...
no point hoping for a POSITIVE outcome...
b'cos it will never happen...
being the middle kid in the family...
i'm always the 'listening ear'
even to more than 3 party...
haizz...
if i were to be everyone's listening ear...
whu wud be mine??
don't i oso deserve to haf a pair of 'listening ear'??
hmm... life is truly unfair.
well, dat my usual family activity.
hmm...
well, wad to do?
jus haf to 'suck it in!'
if my pain will be the exchange for my family's happiness...
i'll be happy for it...
nid some space:JUU
8:10 PM
Friday, January 2, 2009
hope
dat
someone
will
knock
me
in
the
head
so
dat
i
will
fall
into
a
coma
,
so
that
i
won't
be
feeling
this
hurt
.
I
won't
be
going
through
this
pain
.
I
won't
remember
anyting
that
is
breaking
my
heart
and
causing
my
pain
.
I
will
just
be
in
coma
and
peaceful
resting
not
feeling
any
hurt
and
pain
which
is
i'm
going
through
currently
.
I
can't
fight
it
anymore
.
Please
take
this
pain
away
from
me
.
11:45 PM
it's 2009...a new year ahead...a new future...its the start of my
half-a-leap-year-relationship...
*once every 2 years*
it's about my relationship with Dydy.
it happened way back in 2005
i was in sec 2, he was in sec 4.
he's 2 years older than me...
he used to be my sworn brother, when i was in pri6...
which is 2003, we lost contact for 2 yrs...
basically, we met again in 2005
its when, i became his gal...
unfortunately, our relationship didnt lasts long...
due to a lot of misunderstanding...
if i'm not wrong, its lasts for only 2 mths & 2 days...
it was the exact last day, that i ever saw him...
two years later... in 2007
im in sec 4 , i met him again...
in the neighbourhood...
he told my sis
" tell ur sis, i'm sorry for treating her badly"
thinkin back...
it wasn't his fault entirely.
he's a nice guy to be true, he's caring...
it's just dat, i didnt manage to appreciate him...
i didnt saw his love...
'you only realize how much he mean to you,
once he is gone"
i agree to it totally...
sometime, i wonder if we had been much better
how long would be together?
it's finally 2009...
shud i be waiting upon ur presence?
am i missing you inside?
do i truly look upon to meet up wif you?
my GFs: Irrahh&Azie...
kip askin me to look upon ur presence...
kip saying dat i'm linked with the No.2 ...
issit true, am i linked with No.2?
are we link to No.2 together?
if it's true, then...
we will see if our path do intersect...
in this 2009!
our 3rd half-a-leap-year-relatioship...
linked wif No.2?? : JUU
10:32 PM
hmm. i'm all alone in my dark bedroom.
its a total darkness, only the light from my laptop that is on.
im very bored seriously...
thinking about all the problems that are beginning to flood in my head.
haizz. how i wish i cud just vanish from dis world, jus in a blink!
just now went out wif mum.
to accompany her to check her CPF statement...
she told me to send lil Faris( my neighbour's son) to sch on 7th jan.
it's b'cos, she has to be present in court on dt day...
my granny & dad are coming wif her too.
how i wish i cud be by her side...
i'm feeling so vulnerable... yet i wan to be by her side.
i wan to comfort her mind... comfort her heart...
but how shud i do?
i hope, everything dt g'na happen in court diz 7th jan..
will be a positive sign. i dun wan my family to break apart b'cos of dis...
pls... im praying for the positive...
for diz 2009, i hope for the best...
for my family:)
love my family:JUU
9:32 PM
i'm damn bored. lack of idea & topic to write about...
haizz... im damn bored.
glancing at my msn frens...
those dt o9, are all boring...
no topic dt can be talk about...
My Babe: Azie, is sitting infront of me...
bt her eyes is glued to her lappy's screen...
doing her own stuff...
juz text mii Boy-fren cum bro: Zai...
ask him to come down to meet us,
but he's kinda busy playing online game...
typical guys...haha.
ask him to o9, but it turn out to be a funny joke to our conversation...
here a glimpse...
Ju: bz? o9 jap... blh chat.
Zai:o9 2 ape?
Ju: haha... online lar... kte online pt msn, so blh chat...
Zai: ok!
haha. he's so cute.not knowing that o9 is a short form for 'online'
haha. he's my blur2-cute-bro:)) haha.
arghh. the scent of mcdonalds...
seeing people eating...
haizz, im HUNGRY!!!
damn it :O
still waiting for my Boy-fren cum bro:Zai to online...
haizz!
wait a minute, does he even knows dat i'm waiting??
here a piece of advise abt my bro...
* when he is blur... you haf to compromise & wait...
patience is being tested so much, whenever Zai is in his blur-condition!
peace, my beloved Boy-fren cum bro...
hehe...
8:00 PM
i dun noe... wad came over me...
i'm so in love with the songs so much.
juz hear it till the end...
won't force you to like it...
people has different taste,& i understand:))
Dont Tell Me Its Over - Deepside
Baby what's wrong with you, are you scared that we gon run into him
N what's it ganna do, you should say that you no longer want him
You need to let him know, that he had his chance and you already got a man
Girl he messed up with you, you know that I'm the truth, heres what we need to do
Baby it's been a while since we connected
One night alone with me and you forget him
I don't wanna hear what I think your gonna say
And I know it can't be good from the look that's on your face
And I can't believe that it's too late, don't tell me it's over
I can tell that hes been hurting you I see it in your eyes
It's the first time that I'm feeling bad, I'm about to die
Just say anything but goodbye, don't tell me it's over
You sure you wanna do this, if I walk away, it'll be forever
I can't go through this, I'd rather work it out, try to stay together
And girl I do love you, I will give up the world just so you be my girl
I know he messed up with you, you know that I'm the truth, I wanna be with you
I don't wanna hear what I think your gonna say
And I know it can't be good from the look that's on your face
And I can't believe that it's too late, don't tell me it's over
I can tell that hes been hurting you I see it in your eyes
It's the first time that I'm feeling bad, I'm about to die
Just say anything but goodbye, don't tell me it's over
It's hard to hear you tell me no
Girl I don't wanna let you go
Why should I give you away, and be here alone
Baby this ain't making sense
When I tried to give my best
And you telling me that it's over
When the truth is baby I love you
I don't wanna hear what I think your gonna say
And I know it can't be good from the look that's on your face
And I can't believe that it's too late, don't tell me it's over
I can tell that hes been hurting you I see it in your eyes
It's the first time that I'm feeling bad, I'm about to die
Girl say anything but goodbye, don't tell me it's over
I don't wanna hear what I think your gonna say
And I know it can't be good from the look that's on your face
And I can't believe that it's too late, don't tell me it's over
I can tell that hes been hurting you I see it in your eyes
It's the first time that I'm feeling bad, I'm about to die
Girl say anything but goodbye, don't tell me it's over
1:58 AM
i was busy searchin for a song...& dis song caught my heart...listen to it till its very end, before you judge it...after listening to it... you can pretend like you didnt heard it & walk awayor you can love the song...like wad i did... i love it.the song is nice...i oso post it with the lyrics too...read it, as the meaning is damn touchin...Before You Go [LB] - Stevie Hoang feat. Mr. SmithDamn heyI know you ain't tryna hear me out butThere's a couple of things I wanna get off my chestListen...I know sometimes you wonder when I'm not thereYou feel frustrated thinking that I don't careCause I don't, answer my phoneI don't, return your callI don't, do all the thingsThat I, once did beforeIt's just the way I am, let me assure youBaby nothing could be further from the truthSometimes I, be working lateCause I, gotta write that songDon't be, too quick to judge(you can)That somethings wrongI know I shouldve spend more timeThat was my mistakeGirl I don't wanna change your mindBut before you goJust know that, I wasn't tryna push you awayAll I ever wanted, was you to stayAnd before you up and leaveI just need you to seeLosing you was not a part of the planKnow that, I wasn't tryna push you awayAnd before you goJust let me say, I'm sorry I could'ntbe that boyBut please believeAll I wanted was... all I wanted was to be your manBaby understand I never meant to hurt youAnd I realized the way that I mistreat youI'm thinking of all the things, that I could've doneShouldve, made you believe, that, you were the oneTo see you walk away caught me by supriseI guess you meant more to me than I realizedI wish, I could go back but, what's done is doneSo now I guess it's times that we try to move onI know I shouldve been right thereThat was my mistakeGirl I ain't tryna change your mindI know it's much too lateJust know that, I wasn't tryna push you awayAll I ever wanted, was you to stayAnd before you up and leaveI just need you to seeLosing you was not a part of the planKnow that, I wasn't tryna push you awayAnd before you goJust let me say, I'm sorry I could'ntbe that boyBut please believeAll I wanted was...All I wanted was to be your manI thought I needed time and spaceBut seeing you walk awayHas made me realize this isntHow it was supposed to be... ya yeaaAs I'm sitting here alone writing this songTryna figure out what the hell went wrongI remember how we used to be babyAnd everything I did that would drive you crazyI would stay out all nightYou go left and I go rightTo the studio for confessionalsSitting right by another fightYou were rightYes I learned, did like usher and let it burnWish I could turn back the hands of timeMake you wanna stand three little wordsLooking back, it was just that easyI'm not saying this so that you won't leave meI just hope you hear the song and believe meJust know that, I wasn't tryna push you awayAll I ever wanted, was you to stayAnd before you up and leaveI just need you to seeLosing you was not a part of the planKnow that, I wasn't tryna push you awayAnd before you goJust let me say, I'm sorry I could'ntbe that boyBut please believeAll I wanted was... all I wanted was to be your manJust know that, I wasn't tryna push you awayAll I ever wanted, was you to stayAnd before you up and leaveI just need you to seeLosing you was not a part of the planKnow that, I wasn't tryna push you awayAnd before you goJust let me say, I'm sorry I could'ntbe that boyBut please believeAll I wanted was...All I wanted was to be your man
1:12 AM
Thursday, January 1, 2009
finally... it took about 1 long hr for me to be able to get connected to a wireless.
haizz... to tell the truth, im not in the mood to do anytin...
went to Far East Plaza wif my sis&kuzz...
they had their hair extended... aww im so jealous!
although i didnt extended my hair... i love my natural hair. hehe
fortunately, i gt a treat frm my sis...
- M'cd meal...
- body spray: 'Secret Crush' Victoria Secret (damn nice)
- a watch (silver)
- a pair of sandal ( i treat my sis)
- top-up my p8 card!
- hair straightener (sharin wif her,obviously)
thnnks mii dear sis:)) muachkz...
upon enjoying my day... it end up wif a DOWNFALL!
i didnt do anytin, yet someone juz cnt get off my back.
a text from ______ juz spoil my whole day!
thanks _____ ehh!
you had done a very great job!
i'm too tired to be fighting wif you!
to tell you the truth...
you are just TOO EGO!
too HOT-HEADED!
dat's why, i dun see the point of us to be talkin...
b'cos you won't listen!
you will just tink dat you're alwaes right!
it's worthless, spending my time on people lyke you!
its a TOTAL POINTLESS!
even if we were to talk...
our conversation will be just, adding fuel to the fire.
why dun...
you just get offf my back & take care of your self!
you haf ur life to settle & i haf mine!!
i'm gettin sick & tired of this cycle!
bein accused anihow...
i DUN hate you,
its juz... you're getting on my nerve!
trying to cool down:JUU
11:33 PM
saying my hello to 2009 meaning that i'm saying goodbye to 2008.
some memories of 2008...sort of flashback in my mind. hehe.
2008
:)) surviving my O level.
:)) bonds with my beloved class 5N2 of ZSS
:)) conflicts all over... ups & downs...
:)) miss out my polys frens...
:)) re-contact my pri sch buddy...
:)) memorable 11th sept b'dae celebration
:)) nightmare... painful roller coaster ride.
:)) made new frens...
:)) a good health...
:)) struggling my happiness
there is more to it...
but can't tink of it. hehe.
i guess what's left in 2008, jus be kept in my box of memories...
no matter how bad or good the memories is...
i had to look in the future& move on:))
as time doesn't wait for any man...
byebye 2008:)
let's welcome 2009 with a positive mindset& an open arm...
i g'na b ready to face the challenges in store for me in 2009...
lesson learnt in 2008, made me a stronger person...
so, i welcome 2009 wif an open arm:)
hehe:))
love ya:JUU
1:09 AM
YEAH!!! WeLc0mE 2009!!!well, didnt went to countdown with Atikah...
sorie babe.
a last minute plan wif my kuzz. they wanted to go to Far East Plaza to buy their bags.
maklumlah dah start sch...hehe...
Mii Dude: Zaman tag along wif us...thnnks dude.
haha. now Zaman know something more abt the silly me. hehe.
I'm a SOTONG, when it comes DIRECTIONS. hehe.
felt so 'used'. haha. as Zaman knew that i'm a sotong... he purposely make me walk all over town area. haha, naughty sehh.
tkpe,
ada hari ada bas...ada hari nnt aku balas,man...
on the way to Tangs... guess who we met? we met Ahmad Asyraf a.k.a ASH! haha.
he's wif Suraya. hehe. yeah, its been so long since we saw him. dh sombong pe!
we oso met Aliff Aziz...haha. i'm not obsessed, juz smile as a fren... i didnt smile at 1st, bt since he smile...den i smile back. hehe.
Zaman treat mii&kuzz at Starbuck. hehe, thanks Man... sayang kau! hehe.
Zaman&Me: Triple C
Ai'saa: Caramel Frapp.
Syukri: MOcha Frapp.
Zaman had to take his leave 1st for countdown...
so kuzz&I, went to Java restraunt to meet up wif their mum a.k.a my aunt... i call her 'mak'(mom)
we pyscho mak to treat us to dinner... lady luck on our side mybe..
mak did treat us. yeah! sayang mak! hehe.
currently, waiting for kuzz:kak ikin to text...
to reconfirm our plan for tmr. mybe heading to marina barrage again.
hehe. hope its OK & CONFIRM, b'cos been ages since we had our own family outing. hehe.
to all mii BFs&GFs...
a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Hope you people will haf a great future...
& fulfills all your resolution:))
lovin you deeply:JUU
12:22 AM
YEAH!!! WeLc0mE 2009!!!