Friday, January 16, 2009
maybe we're friends
maybe we're more
maybe it's just my imagination
hmm...
im kinda confused now.
i was contacting with (A), i thought it was just a fren-fren thing.
but then it turn out to be the otherwise.
(A) knows that i was out of love ,at that point of time.
i told (A) my problem, thinking that (A) was just trying to be kind, and listen.
(A) did listen, and i'm happy with that.
but then, (A) confessed to me.
it just made me confused.
i was just out of love, and here (A) is confessing to me!
which is to me, a too much conincidence.
told my GF, she said...
(A) is making use of my out-of-love-situation.
how can you expect me to fall in the next second, when i was just out of love.
it's totally impossible.
hate this feeling.
(A) is a nice person, but its just impossible.
i do agree that im still thinking of (s.b)...
its just that the memory of (s.b) still exists in my mind.
(s.b) had left me a very deep scar, which it became permanent in my mind.
i can't possibly love (A).
the worst thing is that, (A) is already attached.
7 month relationship.
hmm. well, that gave me a tight knock out.
i dun want to lead (A) on, so i had to back off.
pretend that i never knew (A).
i do not want the history to repeat.
we were just friends, but you are already cage-ing me up...
i need my space... im breatheless...
i'm not your toy, for you to control me.
i have my own life to life, and you have yours...
i know, i used to let myself spend my spare time with (s.b)
but its a total different thing.
having (A) around me, making me breatheless, uptight... i need space.
having (s.b) around me , making me just fine... although lots of quarrel.
if this were to continue,
i'm back to my square one just like when i'm with (s.b)...
it gonna be the same...
i do not want this to happen.
so, im learning from it.
to refrain from this to happen.
(A) may think that i'm being unfair to him,
but its for the best in future.
(A) may not understand it now, but eventually he will.
when its over with (s.b), i learnt alot.
i had also promise myself...
- not to fall easily
- the next guy, will be able to prove to me that he is different from the others.
- the next guy, will make my relationship with him public.
- a real relationship, not a forbidden one. *no ttm*
well, from what i see...
(A) is just not the next guy.
things for sure, i will make more friends...
to let me see the broad differences of different personality.
seriously, to (A)
just focus on your current relationship...
no point trying to start, something that is totally uncertain...
focus your attention to the things that you had already gotten!
between us is just totally impossible...
public cannot accept us...
you will understand ' public cannot accept us' one day
if you want to say that i have not gotten over (s.b),
i'm not sure myself...
all i know is that, (s.b) taught me stuff.
i learnt to think twice,
learn to be frozenheart.
just do not want history to repeat.
do not want to get myself entangle in the no-future-relationship.
hmm, all i ask from you(A), to just...
love her... forget about me... its no future!
i will not commit myself.
breatheless:JUU
4:11 PM
