Sunday, November 29, 2009
i do not blame you, i understand you.
Never blame a person, without getting to know the smallest details of the full story first.
that is what i learned yesterday!
Yesterday, in the Singapore Flyer's cabin that 30 minutes ride really made me understand and did clear all my doubts and it answers all the questions i had been haunting me all these few years. It was that moment, that i treasure the most with my mum.
Frankly, i did blame my dad for his recklessness, because if not for his recklessness our family would not be in kind of state. Past few years (when i was 10 years old), dad actually set up his own business, despite against my mum approval. When setting up a business, you have to be prepare for the worst; like a fold up of business. However, setting up a business can also help you to succeed.
Therefore, my dad took up that risk in setting up an Air-con service business. In this business world, everything is like a battlefield. You may not know if there is someone out there is trying to sabotage you. Indeed, dad's company was sabotage by his client. Dad had to fold up his business and the worst was to be declared bankrupt. He had to borrow from bank and to use up mummy's savings to pay up his debts and workers. We even have to sell our house and down grade to a smaller house. Adding to our family stress, was at the same year when mummy was diagnosed with cancer.
Its like adding fuel to the fire. Everything came to us like a bombshell. I could still remember how we used to live in fear, as the loan shark used to keep haunting us - all thanks to dad's friend who made him to become a guarantor. We made through that problem by staying together and with the help from relatives.
Even though, after we made through that problem the anger in me and all the blame i used to put on dad did not ease or fade away. I used to believe that, if not because of dad's recklessness all this would not have happen and our family would be better off living. When i thought, every gonna be all fine and better off this year ... everything start to stir up again ... yes, i did blame dad again initially but ...
After that 30 minute heart-to-heart conversation with mum. I finally understand. That few years back incident when dad were trying to set up his business. He did it, as he thought it would help the family and he had to take a risk.
Just like what people say,
EVERY CHOICES HAS ITS OWN CONSEQUENCES.
EVERY OPTIONS HAS ITS RESULTS.
Most importantly,
YOU PLAN EVERYTHING BUT GOD IS THE ONE THAT SET YOUR FATE.
daddy had 2 results awaits his decision...
1) set up business and maybe it will be a success
2) set up business and maybe it will be a up fold.
Unfortunately, daddy got the 2nd result. That's causes our family to face all the difficulties.
Right now, i calmly saying that i no longer blame dad for the cause of my family difficulties.
i will say, i finally understand your reason for that actions.
PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES and that apply to my dad too.
NO ONE IS PERFECT IN THIS WORLD
therefore, NO ONE CAN RUN AWAY FROM MAKING MISTAKES.
Public can say that, clearly the fault lies in my dad but i beg to differ. You were not in my dad shoe, you did not experience what dad, mum, 2 sisters, brother and I went through therefore you will never understand the soreness we felt.
You were not there, when all that took place. You were not at 10 years old, when all these took place. You are not us or I, so you will never truly understand.
Even if you were to tell me, you fully understand me but i seriously tell you.
You can understand a person but you can never fully understand and feel the exact thing a person went through.
love, Julaiha
9:34 PM
